Champagne and Speeches
by artemis-nz
Summary: Yukito spends part of Friday night over a toilet bowl. Touya/Yukito, vague Touya/Yue.


**Author Note: It's been a long time since I've written any Card Captor Sakura fanfiction, and re-watching the series gave me the inspiration to do so. There will likely be a second chapter to this fic involving Yue, but it may be a while in coming so please bear with me.**

* * *

Yukito had never had cause to experience a Friday night with his head over a toilet until now. It was not quite possible to be as cheerful as usual in doing so, but he did note with a wan smile that although it was far from pleasant, he could not have asked for a more considerate friend to help out.

It had been Yukito's idea in the first place. "Let's have a drink to celebrate! We've studied hard and we've both got the results we wanted because of it."

"Well, yes, but..."

"So serious, To-ya", Yukito gently teased. "It's our turn to have fun now that exams are finally over and we can relax a little. Right?" And he punctuated the remark by stretching luxuriously, arms over his head and back arching in what Touya privately thought of as almost indecently adorable.

"I don't know..." But Yukito had him, and his best friend knew it, smiling again in victory. "Well, I suppose a drink or two wouldn't hurt. Father's away, but I don't think he'll mind if we grab something from the cabinet. What shall we have? Sake?"

"It's a celebration, To-ya! Champagne!"

Yukito's infuriating grin seemed to follow Touya at the door and down the stairs, all the way to the handsome wooden cabinet where the alcohol was kept. The drinks were usually locked inside, but tonight the cabinet was unlocked and slightly ajar, as if it were already waiting for him. "Some things happen inevitably because of others' actions", Kaho would have said. Somehow, Touya doubted this was what she had in mind. The thought cheered him nonetheless; Kaho was a strange woman who had captivated Touya from the first time she had spoken to him, but the fact that the thought of her was no longer something to make him feel pained or bitter was a huge relief. "You will have someone else special to you by the time I return", she had said. He had not believed her, back then. But the years had indeed taken their toll, and Touya had grown up since that time, although he had always felt somehow older than his age. It was Yukito who had helped in bridging the gap between the age Touya had felt on the inside - perhaps another reason he had been attracted to Kaho, an older woman - and those peers who he was surrounded by at school because of his true age. And speaking of Yukito-

"To-ya! Do you need any help bringing up the drinks?"

"I've got it!" he called back, and remembered to snatch two glasses from the kitchen cupboards before starting back up the stairs. Yukito was waiting for him, practically wriggling in excitement. In comparison to Touya, Yukito was at times almost child-like in the way in which he took pleasure from all the small things in life. Still, to be this excited over a few drinks...

"Yuki, you _have_ drunk champagne before, haven't you?" Touya asked, a little suspicious.

"Of course. Although, it was a while back. And never with you, To-ya!"

"Hm." Touya eased the cork from the bottle and it flew off with a satisfying pop, hitting the wall and rocketing back towards them.

"Yuki-!"

But his friend caught the cork reflexively with one hand, having not moved an inch.

"Show off."

Yukito only smiled again and watched as Touya poured the champagne out into the glasses slowly so as it not allow the bubbles to create too much froth. He handed one glass to Yukito and raised his own.

"So, what shall we toast to?"

"To finishing exams, and to moving on to bigger things together!"

"I'll drink to that."

They clicked glasses and Touya watched, bug-eyed, as Yukito began to drink just as he ate - with enormous enthusiasm and unrestraint. He drained the glass in one and held it out for another, apparently unaware of the oddity. But then, Yukito had certainly always been more than a little strange. Quite possibly, thought Touya wryly as he refilled Yukito's glass and quickly began to drink his own, he was just attracted to weirdos.

"Cheers, To-ya!" And Touya couldn't help but raise his glass in response. After all, it wasn't as if they didn't deserve the break, he reassured himself. Yukito was right - both of them _had_ worked extremely hard over the last few months, and while he did not intend to be drunk or rowdy, they did have the house to themselves regardless. His father was away on another archaeological dig, and his sister was at that sleepover... Touya drained his own glass at the memory of Sakura waltzing out the door on the way over to that damned kid's place, who just so happened to be visiting from Hong Kong again...

"Thinking about Sakura again? You really do have a sister-complex."

Touya scowled and didn't deign to answer.

And so they drank together, both young men holding their liquor remarkably well. Touya allowed himself to relax more, although held back enough to remain relatively sober. The drink did not seem to be affecting Yukito at all, either, other than making him ever more cheerful.

"Oh?" Yukito tipped the bottle upside-down some time later to pour the last few drops of champagne into his glass. "We seem to have run out, To-ya. Do you think we should get some more?" He stood up and for one moment appeared to be leaning a little dangerously forward, eyes staring straight ahead. Then he ran, without warning, out of the bedroom and into the bathroom where he fell to his knees and retched, quite uncontrollably, into the toilet.

"Yuki!"

He was aware of Touya holding his shoulders and lifting his head a little, and was conscious also of his own laboured breathing and the foul taste in his mouth, making his eyes water.

"Yuki! Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm fine-" His next bout of retching seemed to negate this reply, however, as he gradually emptied the contents of his stomach into the toilet bowl and continued to do so until his throat felt raw from the effort and only bile was left, hot and stinging. His body shook, not from cold but from the after-shock of throwing up so violently. He finally leant back, allowing Touya to support him from behind.

"Are you... do you think you've finished?"

"Yes..." His voice was hoarse and, embarrassingly, more of a whimper than anything else. "I'm sorry, To-ya."

Concerned but no longer panicked, Touya scratched his head, bewildered. "You looked like you were handling the alcohol just fine... I figured your system just dealt with it as easily as it does your food."

Yukito's face reddened as something like a whisper filled his mind; thoughts of another who usually kept silent. "Ah... it seems Yue does not drink."

"Yue? You mean... but you said you've drunk champagne before!"

"I have. I've never had this much at once, though, or in such a short space of time. Also, when I drunk before I probably wasn't aware of Yue at all. Now that he's awoken properly I am more aware. And in this case, I'm very aware that he doesn't drink."

"Still, you must have thrown up before?"

"No, never."

"You've never gotten sick, either? Ever?" Hardly a helpful remark with Yukito leaning weakly over a toilet bowl, but it was hard to wrap his head around; surely everyone had been sick once or twice, even someone as healthy and robust as Yukito? Come to think of it, he never had known Yukito to be anything but completely well, other than the few months during the change of the Clow Cards. But even so, surely he himself would have noticed that Yukito had never once gotten sick, especially when so many of his classmates and even, once or twice, his sister and father, had fallen prey to winter colds? But apparently not.

"No. I don't even remember getting a cold. But I suppose having Yue inside me was a barrier to all of that kind of thing, even if I didn't know it."

"I guess that makes sense..." Touya moved to put his arms around Yukito's front - more of a gesture of support and comfort than anything, although Yukito felt his face flush once more, and was both flustered and now, abruptly, saddened. As sharp as always, Touya noticed the change, and his arms tightened protectively on instinct. "What is it? What's wrong?"

"It's... it's just... Yue isn't me. And yet he is, and I feel his emotions like he is. Sometimes I can't even tell the difference between what he feels and what I feel, although he's always taken great care to keep the two separated."

"You're you, of course you're you, Yuki", Touya said, not understanding.

"I know we're so different from each other. But in essence we're the same person, aren't we? Or rather, he's the real me, and what I seem like to everyone else is... just fake. A false form - that's what people call it, don't they?"

"No! That's not so, that's not it at all! Don't ever speak like that!" Touya's own strength of reaction surprised him, and Yukito turned his head, startled. It wasn't like Touya to speak so passionately.

"We both exist in the same body, To-ya", Yukito explained. "One of us is the false form of the other, and it was Yue who was created by Clow Reed, not me. I was only a vehicle for Yue's soul, nothing more. A false form so that he could hide until the right time came for him to reveal himself again."

"But he did reveal himself again, and you're still here! That's got to mean something", Touya argued.

"Only by chance, though..." Yukito was distressingly downcast. "When Sakura began to make the Clow Cards her own and Yue's power was called up, he began to fade away. And because I am only the false form of Yue, I would have faded away along with him if he had done so himself. To-ya... I would have ceased to exist!" As if to prove his point, his skin began to pale, and Touya was given a glimpse of what existed beneath Yukito's usual exterior; a cold and regal being with trailing silver-white hair and eyes of iciest blue. Touya's breath hitched, for two reasons. First, because he was sure that he would not have seen this if his magic had not began to restore itself, albeit so gradually that he himself has not noticed its slow return. And second, because beneath - or perhaps alongside might have been a better way to describe it, as if he were seeing a double image - Yukito's body, Yue looked extraordinarily similar to Yukito at that moment. Not particularly in looks because Yukito, while pale, was all warmth and gentle laughter compared to Yue's aloof demeanor, but in the way Yue too was crouched, head bowed and knees pulled up to his chest, hair hiding his face. And suddenly Touya understood why Yukito seemed to utterly downhearted; if one person could feel an emotion so strongly, what might it be like to have two completely separate beings locked up in one body, each feeling the exact same strong emotion?

"Ah, Yuki..." It was another uncharacteristic move, but Touya felt no shame in pulling Yukito close to him and holding him to his chest tightly, as if to comfort both his long-time friend as well as the usually stoic Yue, who rarely showed any emotion, let alone whatever this was.

"To-ya, what-"

"How could you believe, even for an instant, that you are anything but yourself, Yuki? There are two of you. _Two_, not one, because not one of your feelings, nor Yue's, are invalid because of the other soul. The fact that you inhabit the same body as Yue has nothing to do with the fact that you are completely you, as separate from Yue as I am."

"But, I'm just-"

"Just you. You're not false. You're not a fake in any way. You are Yue's false form, but that is a manner of speech only. Because Yue is your false form as much as you are his. Simply because he came before you doesn't make him any more real than anyone else, you included. And if... if you can be happy, living life as you do and taking pleasure in all the little things just as you always have even when you weren't aware of Yue's existence... how can it possibly matter which one of you came first, or who is the false form of who? If you can be happy just as you are... and if other people can love you for who you are whether or not they know about Yue then... well, then..."

Touya trailed off, suddenly at a loss for words and embarrassed at his speech. Not only to say something so eloquent but also so personal... it left him feeling incredibly exposed, even more so because Yukito was staring at him as if he had just sprouted an extra head. If he looked beyond Yukito, though, not quite meeting his gaze, he thought he could just vaguely see another pair of eyes that were just as startled-looking, if not more so, than Yukito's own.

"To-ya... that was beautiful."

"Yeah, well, just don't expect another long speech any time soon", Touya muttered, rubbing the back of his neck and still not quite meeting Yukito's eyes. "Makes me sound weird."

And Yukito, recovered from his shock, leaned back again and closed his eyes. "Because you're not weird at all, seeing ghosts and all. But I'll remember what you said just the same. Thank you, To-ya." He was smiling again and Touya, reaching up to flush the toilet chain, decided that it was all that mattered for now.

Well, that and a Yukito who had just begun to snore. With a sigh that was more relief than anything else, Touya carefully stood and eased Yukito up along with him, guiding his friend back to the bedroom before Yukito could fall too deeply asleep. He paused for only a split second before making a decision about bed, taking off Yukito's socks and shirt before easing him between the sheets. While Yukito had always slept on a spare mattress when sleeping over, the two had now all but acknowledged out loud what their relationship had become, grown over the years. Touya undressed himself, leaving his loose-fitting pants on just in case Yukito should be alarmed when he awoke in the morning, before getting into bed himself. His last thought before falling asleep himself - he must have been far more tired than he had thought - was that it was lucky after all that the two of them had the house to themselves.


End file.
